Considering William’s birthday is January 2nd, he is one of the many children who will always have competing gift-giving events back-to-back.  I always want his birthday to be special and separate from Christmas and New Year’s Eve.

For his first Christmas and birthday, we’re not too worried about overwhelming him with awesome gifts: he is still disinterested in complicated toys; he grows out of his clothes too quickly; and we don’t have the space for many mobile toys (like tricycles, wagons, etc.).

In the future, we may have some hurdles to overcome… but for this first year, I think the pressure is off.

In the first year of William’s life, he encountered some incredible events.
To name a few:

• January 31 – February 2, 2011: The 2011 Groundhog Day Blizzard
• Monday, May 2, 2011: Osama bin Laden is killed in Pakistan
• Tuesday, August 23, 2011: The Virginia Earthquake
• Sunday, August 28, 2011: Hurricane Irene lands in New Jersey
• Sunday, August 28, 2011: Massive flooding in Jamesburg, NJ
• Saturday, October 29, 2011: October Snow Storm
• Thursday, December 15, 2011: The US ends its mission in Iraq

Well, maybe we’ll try again next year…

I always try hard to not be a jealous person…

…but I have to admit that when I made the decision to not return to work full-time after my 12 weeks of FMLA time was up, I was heartbroken to hear that I was going to be replaced.  I had devoted every waking moment to my job, even while I was pregnant. 

I was one of few people I knew who could honestly say that they absolutely LOVED their job - I absolutely LOVED my job. 

And it is not a job that many would or could do: I was the Activities Assistant and Assistant Coordinator of an Expanded Services Program for Senior citizens afflicted with Alzheimer’s and dementia.  I spent my days with a group of 10 cooky old women.  I broke up verbal and physical fights, I extinguished emotional meltdowns, I redirected when they were lost or confused, I fed, bathed, toileted, and dressed some of them, and I listened to their stories.  I repeated the same time, date, or direction no less than once a minute for those who had severe short-term memory loss, and I held them as they cried that they hadn’t seen their families in years, even when I knew their daughter or grandson or sister had just been there to visit them. 

The hardest part of working with this grade of Seniors is having to enter into their reality, because once they have left yours, there is no coming back for them. 

The best part of it all is that I still go in to visit them, regularly.  And I bring my son - the boy they watched grow from a zygote to an infant in my tummy, and now the toddler they’ve shared first words, smiles, and steps with.

And I couldn’t ask for a better group of adopted great-grandmothers.

saraemilyy:

lilroxybabe8188:

(via ariannatastic)

especially when around Towson University & anywhere downtown

As if having one baby wasn’t enough…

When William was 3-months-old, we took a trip down to my parents’ house for the weekend.  My fiance, Bill, stayed home for work.  Flood warnings were flashing all over the television, we had continuous brown outs, and the wind was howling angrily at the house.  Amidst it all, Bill heard a tiny cry at the back door.  Upon investigating, he found a mother cat with one tiny black kitten at her side.  Heeding my encouragement, he put a box outside and the kitten crawled in to shelter itself from the storm.

The next morning, Bill went out to check on the animals.  The mother had disappeared, but next to the box were three more babies playing with the first.

After two trips to the veterinarian, we were informed that the four kittens would need to stay together for three more weeks before they would be cleared to be separated. 

Our kitchen turned into a cat playhouse.

But one thing is for sure: it gave me a new focus, another job, and a whole slew of extra cuteness to wake up to in the morning.

Three of the four kittens were given away (two to my future sister-in-law and one to a friend of my brother’s).

The fourth and original black kitten, whom we lovingly call Chili, has a warm spot at the edge of our bed.

While sightings are documented but unconfirmed, we are pretty sure that Mama cat has not and will not return…

When you are experiencing a bought of Postpartum Depression (PPD), you may find yourself unable to pinpoint from where your angst is originating.  Everything that comes your way and adds to your agitation, frustration, and sadness is subject to an unexpected emotional attack.

While dealing with my PPD, I took my feelings out on people who did not deserve such cruelty.  I turned otherwise manageable problems into catastrophes, simple requests became immediate needs, and it seemed like everyone was in the wrong, myself included.  I felt like nothing was working or going right - my life was turned inside out, upside down and then spun like a top. 

For a person who always needs to be in control, I had no direction. 
Structure was absent, compulsions were fruitless, and time was inconsequential.

I came to a crossroads shortly after my PPD manifested.

• I needed to pick myself up and deal with the tasks at hand, get my life back into some degree of order, and enjoy motherhood for everything special it had and has to offer.
• Or risk losing everything: my family, the loves of my life, and myself.

I give thanks every day to whatever sparked inside of me and encouraged me to make it work… because it has.

Japan!

Thank you so much for your support.  My son is almost 1, as well, and this past year has been leaps and bounds for me.  You’re 100% correct in saying that unless you are a mother (or even a stay-at-home father of an infant) you just can’t understand how helpless you feel sometimes, like when you’re child won’t settle or stop crying.  Another huge hurdle for women is our hormone levels trying to bounce back.  We just can’t catch a break!  Thank you for reading, tragicd.  :-)